As parents we try to shield our children from the world. From seeing and knowing things we may not be comfortable with them knowing. We want them to have more than we ever had and try our hardest to provide those little extras that always bring that shine to their eyes. It tough when you're broke all the time to keep your child innocent of the struggle.
Alex is not a greedy child. He never has been. He is always grateful for the gifts he receives no matter how large or small. He earns money and always makes sure to set some aside for "giving". Just what he donates to is up to him. He will go through his toys and if we find acceptable ones we give them to other needy children. He sometimes asks for extravagant things sure, but when he is told that it is way too expensive he understands and moves on. He truly is a blessing and I am more and more aware of it as he grows.
Last week when cleaning the living room I found a piece of paper he had written a note on. "We are poor I think." My eyes welled with tears. Even now thinking of it I get a little teary. My son is 8. He should not be aware of what poor is in our everyday life. Sure he has seen the videos of 3rd world countries. He donated money to an African orphanage to help get them some more toys. I don't know how many times I have taken him to the grocery store and he will ask for something that is not food and I have to decline telling him "I don't have real money right now buddy" When I tell him no his go to answer is now "Let me guess, it's too much money." Or " We don't have any money right?" Or sometimes " It's because we don't have real money right?" My son is being raised with his mother being dependant on the SNAP program to get by. If I didn't receive medical and food benefits from the government I wouldn't be able to feed us and my much needed medications would not be able to be bought. And I hate it.
I'm not saying all of this to get a reaction. I am simply putting it out there. My 8 yr old knows that we struggle daily yet he also knows that he is loved by so many people. He knows he will never have to worry about not being able to eat even if it's the generic store brand bought with food stamps. He knows he will always have clothes to wear, even if they are hand me downs, yard-sale finds, or from Goodwill. He will always have toys to play with, even if they are used from Ebay. I thank God each and every day for the life that I have. I thank each and every one of you who read this and nod your head knowing where I am coming from. I appreciate those of you who read this and don't know where I'm coming from but don't judge me. I hope one day to be able to rise above it all and be able to fully support myself and my son but until that day I am so very grateful for every little bit of help I get.
Thank you for reading.
