I started this blog on a whim at a suggestion of an amazing friend of mine who has been super supportive since it's start. I truly can't thank him enough, even if I never get anywhere with it. That being said, since I jumped into the blog feet first I realized a lot of my readers may not know very much about me and how I got to where I am now. So, here's that story.
As most of you can tell from looking at the screen to the right, my name is Shanna. I'm now 32 years old and I live in a small rural town in Western Maryland. I like it here. It's quiet and we all look out for one another. I don't feel nervous letting my son wander the neighborhood and he's welcome to play with any child that is around. We live in a 3 bedroom trailer that I rent from my parents who live right next door. When my father got a job offer to work for the railroad I had been living with them for about a year after I had left the father of my son. I originally wasn't planning on tagging along I was going to try to make it on my own and stay in West Virginia. That being said, when my father found a house that was for sale that had a garage, above the garage apartment, a small swing-set and the three bedroom trailer all on the same property my mother called me into the room to take a look and discuss the amazing opportunity that provided for all of us. I would be provided with my own place so I could have privacy and wouldn't drive Mom crazy, but we would still be close enough that should I need them for whatever reason I wouldn't have to go more than 100 ft. It's worked out pretty well so far.
It was never my intention to be a single mother. As a teenager and a young adult I always dreamed of getting married young and having a family. Obviously life throws curve balls and things don't usually go the way you would like them to. I met my sons father when I was studying to be a veterinary technician in Pittsburgh. I was not looking for a long term relationship. I was simply looking to have some fun as I was nearing the end of my training in the program and was planning on doing an internship in Colorado. Even though we were using protection I still got pregnant very early into the relationship, which obviously changed a lot of things. He and I talked and decided to try to raising the baby together. It was not an easy road. He never had steady work since he was a musician who did most of his jobs under the table. I was unable to finish the training program I was in and so I wound up taking whatever job I could. We were evicted from 2 different apartments due to inability to pay rent and when I went into the hospital to give birth we were living in an extended stay hotel. Yet, I still stayed with him. When we were evicted from the third apartment after I had Alex, I went to stay with my parents for a while until a place to live could be found. This was in December. Jan I was able to reunite with him and we tried to be a family. He was still not working and I did not have a job either but had decided to try to go back to school and get my AA in Medical Administration. Things kept going downhill. We fought all the time. We never had any money, and I wasn't out of our bedroom much as we had roommates who smoked both cigarettes and Marijuana. The ex was a pot smoker as well but the longer we lived with this couple the worse it got. He got to the point he was lighting up on an hourly basis. I finally reached my breaking point when I had left the baby in his care so I could take a shower. When I came out I found him smoking a bowl within 5 ft of our son. We got into a huge fight and that evening I called my parents to ask about coming home for a while. My son was almost 6 months old. I took him to see his father once after I left and had such a horrible experience we never went back again.
So, Alex doesn't know much about his father. He doesn't seem to care either. When he asks questions, he gets answers. My father is a much better role model and is right next door. We don't receive any form of child support. The ex was deemed disabled and as he didn't really ever work as an adult he was given the minimum amount of support possible. When I say single mama, it's the honest truth. I'm not alone though. There are some issues from time to time, but I know that I couldn't be where I am today without all the love and support both my parents have provided for me and my son. I have an amazing family that all support me and I thank God for them every day.
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